


Catoptric Tristesse

by Moonlit_Blossom



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Both of these boys feeling a lot of emotions, Character Death, Death, Friendship, Gen, Grim Reaper Haechan, Grim reaper au, Haechan is trying his best, Human Mark, Memories, Regret, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Somewhat a slowburn, sad hours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlit_Blossom/pseuds/Moonlit_Blossom
Summary: Haechan is a fresh-out-of-training Grim Reaper. After all those years of only following the other Reapers and watching them, he finally could reap souls on his own! His excitement only rose as the first assignment comes to him right away:Mark Lee/Age: 20/Time Left: 07:14:24:05Suddenly, Haechan felt dread. Something about this situation made him terrified.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Just randomly, I thought it would be a great idea to write a Grim Reaper AU. Now thinking about this makes me sad...Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day!

A silver-haired man looked down at the many skyscrapers of Seoul. He fixed his black leather jacket and had his iconic smile stuck on his face as if it had been glued on. His tan skin glistened under the Sun and the outfits he usually chose to wear were definitely boyfriend material.

Haechan felt the strength from standing there. The pride stemmed out of his passion for freedom to do whatever, whenever, without anyone knowing he existed. 

Basically, being a Grim Reaper was great and he hadn’t even mentioned all the supernatural perks:

Flight, invisibility to humans, immunity to all forms of danger, and even a cool scythe (which was mostly there as aesthetic than any use you would think it would be used for.)

Haechan had finally graduated from Grim Reaper training and now stood on the same field as his mentors. Was it worth the trade-off, he wasn’t sure. If you’re offered to be a Grim Reaper and you accept, the price you have to pay is all your memories from your human life. Now Haechan wasn’t sure of what would make his past self choose to be a Reaper but his current self was definitely happy about it.

He was now in charge of a small section of Seoul, only about 5 miles in diameter and he wanted more but he guessed that beggars can’t be choosers. The lack of death in the area made Haechan feel comforted but also curious. 

_ RING RING RING _

The stupidly loud notification would have put him in a bad mood but the text on his phone screen nearly made his eyes wide. Was this really happening? Was he really getting his first assignment?

“YES!” He yelled, punching the air upward.

Johnny would always tell him that he got too excited about things. And even though he usually avoids it, he had to acknowledge it. Haechan read the text-the assignments were always vague, only giving Reapers basic information. According to Taeyong, it keeps Reapers from getting attached to anyone. Was it a legitimate decision? Yeah, Haechan couldn’t disagree with it. But did he care for it?

Not so much.

**Mark Lee/Age: 20/Time Left: 07:14:24:05**

_ He’s dying young… _

It felt weird, knowing that the youth can die at their age (even though he couldn’t really say anything since he died at 16). Not only that, his name felt familiar.

Mark Lee.

Haechan suddenly felt uncomfortable. 

_ Something about this feels wrong… _

The name, the age, the time-everything felt so familiar but his mind was blocked. He had to give up eventually. It took a lot of effort and ate at his undead soul and he didn’t have the time to think about all of that.

He had a job to do.

**********

It was the typical routine of a Reaper to watch over the unsuspecting target (unless there were multiple people who died at the same time, which was usually rare for Reapers assigned to one small and specific area). Now that Haechan had found the human, he took the time to get to know him.

Mark was sitting on a velvet chair at the local library, his eyes focused on everything but the actual words of the page. His black hair was slightly unkempt, especially as he unconsciously ran his left hand through his hair. He was wearing a baby blue hoodie and jogger pants with circular glasses resting at the bridge of his nose.

The quiet boy let out a sigh as he shut his book in frustration, deciding to lean his body back into the chair while staring at the ceiling. 

He looked exhausted.

Haechan grimaced at the thought of Mark dying. It felt unfair.

But who was he to argue against fate?

Mark suddenly took in a sharp breath, holding it in for about two seconds before exhaling. It somewhat felt like he knew that he was going to meet his end soon. It was a chilling thought for Haechan.

“What is it about you…?” The Reaper mumbled. 

The sound of his phone ringing again brought him out of his thoughts. It was the Title, an implementation by Taeyong which gives a human a phrase that describes them perfectly. Some people would have heroic Titles like The Man With A Golden Heart or The Gracious Queen while others had tragically hilarious ones like The Dumbest Clown or A Big Fool.

But Haechan felt his heart ache as he read Mark’s Title:

**The Boy With A Million Regrets**


	2. Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Haechan follows Mark, he learns more about his human and his own self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a lot longer than I thought it would. I mean, yeah, I’m pretty occupied with school and the word count isn’t much but...I don’t know. Anyway, it’s here! Thank you for reading it! Have a nice day!

Mark’s apartment seemed to match the vibe Haechan got from him.

Dull and simple.

The walls were plain white, there was an obvious lack of decorations, and don’t even get Haechan started on the human’s bedroom.

“Can’t you even clean your room just a little?” He stared at Mark who was currently sitting at the edge of his bed.

He didn’t move a muscle, sitting complacently. Occasionally, his eyes would dart around the room. 

To say Haechan was bored was a gigantic understatement.

He was tempted to leave-It wasn’t like it was illegal to not watch your assigned human. If Mark wasn’t going to move any time soon, Haechan thought of going and hanging out with Renjun for a couple hours. 

“I was hoping you’d be more fun.” 

Mark stood up suddenly. It startled the other, making him take a step back. It took a couple seconds before Mark walked out. Haechan decided to float after him, finally being able to see him do something after a tortuous hour.

“Now that I think about it, I haven’t heard you say anything at all. You’ve only breathed and sighed.” He continued to talk as if he could be heard.

Mark walked with heavy steps, his head slightly bobbing as moved. He was unreadable. Haechan thought that his Title should be changed to the Embodiment of Living Hopelessly.

The two wandered into the kitchen, Mark aimed for the fridge. Opening it left Haechan in horror, its nearly barren confines pitiful. There were a few bottles of soda with two cups of soba and what seemed to be a leftover sandwich.

“You must be a broke college student.” Haechan nodded, “I’d be pretty miserable too if I were you.”

But even then, something wasn’t sitting right with him. He had seen hundreds of Soul Reapings, why did he feel nervous now? Haechan watched Mark pull out the leftover sandwich and began to nibble on it. 

Maybe it was because it was his own assignment this time.

That’s what it had to be.

Tha tan male scolded himself, he really had to stop overreacting. After hitting his cheeks a couple times, he went back to observing Mark, who had decided to eat his sandwich while standing. His face remained blank. Haechan let out a dramatic groan.

“Don’t you have friends or something?” 

And as if on cue, a Michael Jackson song filled the room. Mark lethargically reached into his pocket and took his phone out. 

“ _ She’s Out of My Life _ ?” Haechan mused, “I wouldn’t have thought you had such good taste in music.”

“Hey…” Mark greeted the caller.

Haechan was surprised by the clear boyishness of Mark’s voice despite it being despondent. 

“Bro! You don’t have class today right?” A deep voice, despite not being on speaker, boomed.

“It got cancelled so I just went home after going to the library.” Mark closed the fridge and threw the plastic that held the sandwich in the trash.

“Nice! Wanna go out to the arcade? They added a new game!”

Haechan expected Mark to say no. He seemed to be a wet blanket and his eyes were vacant of excitement.

“Really?” A small smile graced his face, stupefying the Reaper who hovered over his shoulder, “Sure.”

“Great!! Let’s meet there in an hour! See you later bro!” 

Mark softly hummed in response before hanging up. He then walked to his room. Haechan decided to float to the living room, sitting on the brown leather couch that was in the center.

“Hm…I guess I misjudged him…” 

He felt relieved, now knowing that Mark wasn’t completely boring.

“What’s up with him then?”

**********

How Mark had a bright and upbeat friend like Lucas Wong was a mystery.

The brown-haired, six-foot puppy of a man clung onto Mark as he dragged him into the arcade with such an intense vigor that Haechan worried that his charge would stumble. Lucas was a handsome guy, having many people look at him and his million-watt smile. But he seemed only focused on Mark and the game he wanted to play with him.

“It’s a dance game and it has all the latest songs!” Lucas babbled, “It even has DJ Johnny’s new album!”

“Really?” Mark’s voice was quiet but surprisingly happy, “That only came out two and a half months ago.”

Mark’s hand, which had turned into a sweater paw due to his oversized hoodie, gently held onto Lucas’ wrist-as the giant had his arm draped over his shoulders-to ensure the safety of himself and his friend. Once again, Haechan was surprised at the delicacy Mark put into the most subtle of actions. 

He came off as forlorn but was able to easily participate in the small joys of life.

“Isn’t that cool?” Lucas looked at his friend, suddenly whipping his head forward as he saw the dance game.

“Wow…” Mark’s eyes were wide, a childish warmth that shook Haechan overtook the human’s features.

_ He looks much younger with that face…  _

Haechan wondered what had happened to him. What took away his ability to always have that happiness? What took his inner peace away?

“We have to set the highest record!” Lucas pulled out a game card and pulled Mark onto the dance pads.

The smaller nodded enthusiastically, getting into a more proper position. He looked different from what he was in the library and his apartment. Haechan had always been good at reading and understanding people but no amount of that skill he had made Mark less confusing. He was associated with regret and yet he didn’t hesitate to do things.

Maybe it was a correlation.

Maybe it was simply cause and effect.

Whatever it was, the only thing Haechan was sure of was that he was proud of him. There was a sense of relief he felt as he watched the two males dance their hearts out. Their laughs filled the loud arcade and matched the flashing neon lights. 

A pang of longing and guilt filled the Reaper as he stood there. Longing, he understood, but guilt, he wasn’t too sure of. The game looked fun, maybe he didn’t play it enough when he was alive.

_ If that’s the case, I have a lot more time to do it now. _

Haechan stared at Mark. 

Something about him was familiar. Haechan laughed uncomfortably at the feeling.

_ Don’t tell me that I knew him before I died. _

“What kind of angsty story is that even?” He sighed, placing his hands into his pockets.

_ I’m just being dramatic. _

But the image of Mark dancing skillfully in that ocean of noises and colors was all too familiar.

**********

After setting a new record for the game three times in a row, Lucas insisted on getting burgers and fries at the diner across the street. Mark was visibly tired but agreed to go.

“Chili Cheese or just cheese?” Lucas peeked over from the top of the menu he was holding.

“Chili Cheese.” Mark smiled at the waitress who returned the sentiment before taking the menus and leaving.

“Woah, did you have a good day or something?”

The question perplexed Haechan. Mark was such a strange person. 

“It was normal until you called me.” The aforementioned looked thoughtful, “I just wanted to get it.”

“Aah you’re missing Hyuck.” Lucas stated bluntly.

“I always am.”

“But more than usual.”

Mark nodded before taking a sip of his water, “It’s one of those days…”

Haechan noted the name Hyuck. Whoever (or whatever) that was probably was one of the reasons why Mark was the way he was. 

Lucas looked at Mark sadly, “You really need to stop blaming yourself.”

“I can’t.” Mark shook his head, “No matter how much I look at it, I just can’t.”

And Haechan saw it. 

The way that brutal feeling-that cursed emotion Mark was associated with bled through each word. Rather than living hopelessly, he lived with the guilt that ruined things that should make him happy.

“I hope that you will someday.” Lucas, for the first time spoke quietly, a melancholic hope in his voice.

“Maybe someday.” 

The waitress returned with a large bowl of chili cheese fries, setting it on the table. The smell of the food was definitely unhealthy but warm. Mark smiled but it was a smile that refused to reach his eyes. It was haunting in a way, it made Haechan feel as if he had taken his genuine one away.

The scene of two young men eating fries on a sunny day should be a refreshing scene. The way they played around with the stretchiness of the cheese could fool anyone who looked for a moment.

Knowing who Mark was, however, only made it pitiful.

And not only that, he only had seven days left.

Haechan bit his lip at the thought of that reminder. He felt antsy, as if  _ something _ had gone wrong. The urge to do anything for this boy who only had a week left to live was strong.

But he wouldn’t do anything.

He shouldn’t do anything.

He couldn’t do anything.

“I swear I knew you at one point.” Haechan admitted.

There was no way having all those thoughts and emotions came out of nervousness. Haechan wasn’t the type of Reaper to get attached to humans ( _ Looking at you, Jaemin. _ ) or just anyone so easily. No matter how tragic someone’s life was, he kept things formal. But watching Mark left him with feelings he had long forgotten. 

And being made to feel more human than Reaper didn’t sit well with him.

**********

“Why’d you call me over?”

Haechan looked over to the window, watching the dark brown haired Reaper pass through. Huang Renjun sported his usual dandy boy appearance-A baby blue cardigan over a white collared shirt paired with black pants.

“I need to ask you some things.” Haechan pointed over to Mark’s sleeping figure on the bed.

“The Oh-So-Great-Haechan is already struggling on the first job?” The elder teased.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Haechan sighed heavily, “But obviously not for any of the reasons you’re thinking of.”

Renjun caught on to the seriousness of the other, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s possible for a Reaper to remember their past life right?”

“Yeah. It’s not common but definitely possible.” Renjun paused as everything clicked in his mind, “Did you know him?”

“I don’t know but it feels like it.”

Renjun glanced around the room, “No offense to him but knowing you, how would you have been friends with him?”

“That’s an assumption Jun. I didn’t say we were friends.”

“Aren’t you assuming as well? This could possibly be the first assignment jitters. First missions just does that to people.”

Haechan shook his head, “I know it’s not. I’m gonna look into all this.”

Sensing the worry, Renjun placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Just do what you feel is best. What more can you lose?”

“My job.” Haechan smiled slyly, grateful for Renjun’s advice.

“You know Taeyong loves all of us too much to fire any of us.”

When Renjun left, Haechan returned to watching Mark. His breathing was so shallow that it made Haechan think that he would stop at any moment. Nothing was happening but everything felt delicate. Haechan considered making himself tangible and snoop through Mark’s room but he didn’t want to risk it while there was a possibility that the other was a light sleeper. Switching from tangibility to intangibility and vise versa usually takes time to master for young Reapers like him.

Haechan would have to find out eventually.

He had too.

For his own sake.

And for Mark’s.


End file.
